Seven

Elaine tagged me aeons ago.

And so because I'm nearing my 100th post. And have nothing much to write about. But still die-die also wanna reach 100.

I'm doing this.

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

1. Feed mandrills
2. Get a PADI license
3. Go backpacking (which I think will be done by the end of this year)
4. Quit smoking
5. Learn how to take good pictures
6. Have children (doesn't necessarily mean I need to get married lah right?)
7. Laugh, dream, run, chase, skip, hop, smile

Seven things I could do:

1. Get with the program
2. Stop acting like a sohai all the time
3. Start training for next year's Powerman
4. Save for the backpacking trip
5. Get the hell out of college
6. Spend a year in a foreign country
7. Come home with a renewed appreciation for those I love

Seven celebrity crushes:

1. Adrien Brody
2. Sean Penn
3. Johnny Depp
4. Paolo Maldini
5. Ian Thorpe
6. Marcelo Salas
7. Dido (what? I like girls, too~)

Seven often repeated words (sometimes phrases for me):

1. Ha?
2. Don't lah
   
3. And then?
4. Eeyer
5. Shaddup you
6. Aiyak
7. What do you mean?

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex:

1. Bushy eyebrows
2. A scar on those bushy eyebrows
3. Big hands (believe me, there aren't that many people with hands bigger than mine)
4. A camera surgically attached to his body
5. Eyes that laugh
6. Broad chest that I can bury my face into when I want to hide =)
7. A tiny bit of flab in the stomach for me to sink a finger into when I feel like it~

Seven tags go to:

1. I
2. am
3. not
4. passing
5. this
6. around
7. anymore

Yay~ There goes my 99th post.

What should I write for my 100th post?

Down with the fever

I've got a fever and a scratchy throat today so I thought I'd post up some happy pictures to cheer myself up.

Unless, of course, if someone else would volunteer to do the job...

No?

See, that's Jon trying to look ganas with that gorilla tissue holder of his. It's really cute wey~ The tissue comes out from the gorilla's nostrils...just like snot!

I haven't seen anything like this in a long, long time. I haven't breathed in so much fresh air since...forever.

So Yu-Ming teman-ed me sakai and we took a picture together even though we were supposed to be recceing for a location to shoot. *shrugs*

You'd never have guessed that Kuala Selangor would look so beautiful at dusk, would you? Me neither.

Aaron wanted to be all touristy and asked me to get a shot of him as the sky was turning dark slowly.

Those roads

There was once in my life when I had dreams.

I had dreams. Big ones. Small ones.

Those dreams would carry me to faraway places where I could lug a camera along and digitize my memories.

Those were the kind of dreams that made me happy, kept me going. The kind of dreams that made me hold my tongue in the faces of those who challenged me, those who put me down.

Because I know better. Because I had dreams.

And once I turn those dreams into reality, these people who told me I'd never make it would have to swallow their words and drag their sorry asses back to whichever hole they crawled out from.

Pity, those who are without dreams.

But that was a long time ago.

I'm graduating soon. A college graduate. A real one with a degree. One without any real experience, any particular skill.

I'm afraid.

That path that I had paved so clearly in my mind years ago, I can't see it anymore. And those dreams, I don't seem to remember them.

I had always wanted to be idealistic, to be the dreamer and walk down the road not taken.

But now that I look back again, I've walked and I've walked. And yet, it wasn't down the road not taken that I was walking.

It's just another road.

And I don't know which one it is.

Toting lanterns a day too late

I should really get with the program.

And so should Josh.

Cos you see, we're always a day too late.

Like that one time we both wanted to take pictures on Wesak Day. And we were both so enthusiastic and geared up for it. I'd even planned what to wear (to avoid people trodding on my toes or me rubbing shoulders with other people's bodily fluids lah).

And then we found out that we were a day too late.

So Saturday night, before we left for a night in the dart pub, he said, "Ohkay tomorrow we go play lanterns."

I threw my hands up and screamed. In excitement of course. Because it's been years since I last played with lanterns, you see.

Then we off we went to the dart pub. Having some beers and talking rubbish with the pub owners and some friends who were there.

Totally oblivious to the world outside.

At 3am, when Josh dropped me home, I asked, "Eh, we're still playing lanterns tomorrow right?"

"*hic* Yah man..."

So last night, after our Sunday pasar malam dinner, we went hunting for parks and lantern processions.

There were none.

We were just about to give up and go to William's for a drink instead (with lit lanterns in hand, of course) when we spotted a playground dotted with candles and a few lanterns.

So he stopped by the road and we ran off into the playground.

I was snap-happy. Desperate wey.

Josh was having a conversation with the very few people who were in the park.

And when he came back, he said,"It was last night lah. People played lanterns last night. Tonight is for family wey. We're a day too late again man."

Crap.

Again.

This was what we spotted from afar. People lighting up candles in the playground. Turned out they were a bunch of kids who left right after all the candles were lit.

And these people were stringing those accordion-type paper lanterns in trees. Very pretty sight.

And this is how they looked like. They were the ones who asked why I was toting a lantern so far away from home and a day too late *sniff*

See, Josh looks like he's got a halo and he's surrounded by warm, holy light. Except I noticed that his halo is square after a while.

I *heart* my lantern. Is goldfish. Fat, fat goldfish with a blue tail and scales painted on with silver dust flecks.

He should just say "Gong Xi Fa Chai". Cos it sure doesn't look like he's saying Happy Lantern Festival to me.

I just want to post up more pictures of myself. Cos it's my blog. HAH.

There were no other people in the playground except us, so we could camwhore a little.

If you ever see her at night, please don't take her home.

Or you'll be in terrible, terrible pain.

This one's for the road. And more camwhoring. And the fact that we're one day too late. Again.

Word of the day

*OBSCENITIES AHEAD*

***skip this post if you're not of legal swearing age***

Now.

The word of the day is...

TIUNIAMACHAUHAI

I'll give an example on how to use tiuniamachauhai.

Tiuniamachauhai, the dispensary gave me the wrong dose of medicine and it's making my insides go all haywire. What if I died from consuming a larger quantity of medicine than I'm supposed to? Then what? Tiuniamachauhai.

*Example given is based on a real encounter

New Slang Dictionary, 2005

I received this in my mail a few days ago. And it gave me a good laugh.

Some of it, anyway.

NEW SLANG DICTIONARY, 2005

GOING FOR A McShit
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mcshit
with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
at 3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze
cruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how
you got there, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".

BRUCE LEE
Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).

DRINK-LINK
A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is
common to visit one before going out on the booze.

SSSSSSSSSSHHHH1111111111111TTTTTTTTTTTTTT
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a
speed.

GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually fu*k-all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people
so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA
Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

PEARL HARBOUR
Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour
out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO AR$E
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks.

SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT
A homosexual.

SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman.

TART FUEL
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

TITANIC
A lady who goes down first time out.

TODGER DODGER
A lesbian.

UP ON BLOCKS
Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I
don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".

WALLACE AND GROMIT
Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.

WYNONA RYDER
Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a
bottle of tart fuel please Doreen"



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You don't care anymore, do you?

The past week had crawled by so slowly.

Yet, I can't really remember what happened in the past 7 days anymore.

It was only 7 days ago.

How did this happen?

How did you become like...this?

When did I turn into a 7-Eleven and let you walk in and out of it everyday, every hour, everytime?

I'm tired, I honestly am.

But you don't really care anymore, do you?

Mummy knows best

I was sitting on my bed counting my coins the other day. I was bawling and I had wads of snot-infested tissue spread around my coins.

So I was counting. I had about RM50 plus minus a few cents.

Then my mum knocked on my door. She asked me something but I couldn't quite make out what she was saying.

I opened the door and she stood there staring at my tear-streaked face.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm counting my coins."

"Are you broke again? Is your fuel tank empty? Do you need some money to fill up? Why are you counting your coins?" my mum asked as she looked at the spread of coins on my bed and used up tissues.

"I want to go on a holiday," I told her.

She stood there staring at the coins on my bed. All RM50 of them. She was silent.

And then she said to me, "When you're done counting, why don't you come downstairs and have some chee cheong fun with me?"

I went back to bed and counted them again. I had RM50. It was a good start. I can probably get a flight out next year.

I heard her call from the kitchen saying that the chee cheong fun is ready.

I scooped up my coins and threw them into my Heineken bucket.

My mum may not know everything. But she definitely knows best when it comes to me.

Carry me home

I had the most wonderful dream last night.

It was surprising, considering that I had been crying myself to sleep the past 2 nights.

I had one too many beers in the dream. And as with all the other times when I've had too much alcohol, I was relatively harmless and extremely contented.

I was nodding off slowly as your voice sounded far away. I put my feet up, leaned back in my chair and fell asleep.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep, but you woke me up gently and told me it's time to go home.

I was still groggy and gave a non-committal mm-hmm as I closed my eyes again.

You reached over and gathered me in your arms.

And then you carried me all the way home.

It is strange that when I woke up this morning, my heart felt so, so heavy. And I missed you so, so much.

It is then that I knew, the dream would be the last time you carried me home when you're gone.

I asked you once

Long ago, if you'd take up the chance of being happy for a year and not remember it after that.

You said yes. Almost immediately.

I took a long time to answer my own question. And when I did, I said I wouldn't, because happy memories are meant to be remembered.

Perhaps my answer has changed over the months. Perhaps I'd been living that year without even realizing it.

And now that I think again, my year is almost up.

The best year of my life is about to come to an end.

Except, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it when when my year is up.