The Narcissist

Portrait of a Narcissist

These are pictures of a narcissist. Most pictures are photographed this year.

The said narcissist is very fond of cameras (as seen in one picture holding a really sexy digital SLR, which, unfortunately, does not belong to her). And so narcissistic is she that she takes pictures of her own reflection (as seen in one dodgy looking picture of her own reflection) with a camera, which, by the way, is also not hers.

The only pictures which are photographed with her own camera are the second and third pictures on the second row respectively. And yes, the second picture was photographed by the narcissist herself *pats her on the back encouragingly*.

The narcissist loves taking pictures of herself. She will take pictures of herself at just about anywhere. Outside the toilet, at the mamak, out on the balcony, in the car, at home, in restaurants...you name it and she may just have done it.

*Even if she hasn't, suggestions (no rude ones please) from readers, ardent fans and stalkers alike are always, always welcome*

I am the Little Prince

You are the little prince.


Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

You, I Love

You, I love.

I love you, the one who sent me the SMS telling me that I've got a lot more in me than what that scum says about me. You, who took me out for Frappucinos at Starbucks just so I wouldn't sit alone at home and wallow in self-pity. You, who spent hours on the phone with me crying on one end, and you, listening patiently on the other end. You, who wouldn't hesitate to brave the traffic jam at any hour on a rescue mission. You, the only person who gave me a therapy bag with vanilla scented candles.

Then there's you, I love. You, who called me to have a real conversation that lasted an hour. You, who didn't even know me well. You, who just wanted to make sure I'm alright, you, who gave me words of encouragement, and you who, despite the short time knowing me, told me things about myself I'd never noticed.

Also, there is you, I love. Strong, silent, always there for me, a person of few words. You, whose words of advice always seemed sensible to me. You, who made me never feel unworthy of myself.

You, I love, for all the times when you could sense my unhappiness. You, who would call me out of the blue and say things that will pull me right back up to my feet. You, who always seemed to put me on a higher pedestal, you, who worshipped me for all that I am even when I feel like I was worth less than scum.

And then there is you whom I love for the years of friendship we had and for all those times we never saw eye to eye but have things work out in the end. You, who always had a fascination for what I do, what I am, and you who believed in me simply because I'm me.

I love you, for all the times I thought you never understood me, but seemed to have a radar to detect my unhappiness. You, who is the closest a person can ever be to me, yet be so distant and unforgiving at times. You, who will always be the first to catch me even before I fall.

You, I love, despite the trying times you were going through, the turmoil that rages inside, who still sent me messages to tell me what a great person I am, and that I deserved more. You, who said to me that you're sure God wants better for me.

I also love you, who, despite our age differences and maturity levels, could still put yourself in my shoes for that one second to understand the emotional hell I was going through. You, who made me smile with one SMS that says there would be plenty of guys who'd love to date me.

I love you, the one who insisted on talking to me on the phone through my torrent of tears and incoherent speech. And you, who spent hours trying to make me smile despite your own exhaustion and stress from a day at work. You, who thought nothing of wanting to drive right up to my doorstep just to make sure I'm alright, and you, who tactfully avoided all things that made me unhappy during our conversations.

All of you, I love.

For Life

Class of 2000

5 Jaya Class of 2000. That was probably the best year in my entire schooling life.

That was when I met friends who have proved, over the test of time, that they're friends who will stick with me for life. Friends whom I see a few times a year, probably less, friends who've seen me grow, friends who've grown with me.

Of the few of us who still meet up now and then, there's Siva, who was the only prefect in our class. And a really cool one at that. He'd warn us in advance when those dreaded spot checks are so we'd hide our stuff. Or better, we'd give all our correction pens to him and he'd stuff everything into his *already bulging* pockets just so they wouldn't get confiscated. When I met up with him yesterday, he was still the smiley bloke I knew from 7 years back, except that he's grown into what people would call a dashing young man. Before yesterday, the last I saw of him was approximately 4 years ago, shortly after our senior prom. He was the same person I knew, yet different.

And then there's Azzuhri. "Miss me?" was his favorite line to me back in class. Without fail, I'd tell him squarely, "NO." He would annoy me to my wits' end, and then he'd laugh about it, making me even more irritable than before. But now that he's thousands of miles away from me in Sydney, all I could think of was the one last time I met him on New Year's Eve and how much he's grown since we left school. Just today, seeing him online on the second day of Raya, I said to him, "Hey Azz, I miss you. Selamat Hari Raya, and I really hope to see you soon." I realized that he didn't have to ask me again if I missed him because I did. Terribly.

Lina, the shy, quiet girl who always had legions of admirers, was someone I knew since I was 14. Still sweet, still shy and still quiet, she left for Dublin in September. Last Raya, I paid her a visit at home and indulged myself with festive goodies. This year, she's there, I'm here. 7 years seemed like a long time to me, to have forged a friendship that brought us together in the beginning and left us oceans away from each other now.

"I know you want me, Joy, I know you do," Nazrin would say while running a wooden comb through his hair. Rolling my eyes, I'd turn away and pretend to be busy with something else. The boy that I knew then was an occasional joker, someone who'd say the funniest punch lines once in a blue moon (there were a few blue moons back then). He was also the same boy who had kicked the door so hard it was on the verge of collapsing on us just because he thought his team had lost the football match. Today, this same boy is on his way to becoming an accountant, and like the others, he's grown up a lot since our days in school. He was the same, yet different. The young man I met last night for drinks and a game of pool was quietly intelligent, tactfully sensible, and responsibly sweet. Naz, you've grown up into a fine young man *smile*

Of course, there's Quant. For the years that we've known each other, we've both had our fair share of one-day-crushes. The ones that we'd decide to have crushes on today, and then decide not to have crushes on anymore the next. We'd drool endlessly over the oh-so-untouchable seniors who were just a block away, and we'd travel for hours to Sepang all by ourselves for the sake of Formula One. We had our first TV appearance together, and it was in her company that my voice hit the Malaysian airwaves on Hitz.fm for the first time. Ups and downs over the years, she's still there stuck firmly by my side to pull me up to my feet when I was down, right till today. Silly crushes, hours and hours travelling, TV and radio appearances, this young woman will soon don power suits and be able to say, "See you in court."

Looking at that picture we took almost 5 years ago, I missed all the silliness that came in a package with being in a so-so Form Five class. We may not have been the smartest, we may not have been the best. However, I know I can hold my head up high and say with pride that I wouldn't have traded being in that class for anything in the world. Nothing.

If anyone dared question about racial segregation in public schools, please. Take a look at our picture, and take a look at our class. Our friendship knew no color, and it knew no bounds. It has transcended time, and it has survived the distance.

Us. Happy

In that happy place celebrating the end of our college years

See? See all of us there, smiling and happy and chummy? See?

That's the result of spending 4 years together in the same hellhole. Shit kinda brings people together. And it always ends up good. Like what you see in the picture *smile*

Emily's from Penang, Lulu's from Maldives, Rina's from Kuching and Zairynn's from Miri. Me, I'm from right here. And yet, there we all are, celebrating the end of our college years together.

Fate has a wonderful way of working itself into our lives, doesn't it?

Happy Birthday Elaine~~

Elaine and I at Fatty Crab in Taman Megah after a scrumptious dinner of (what else?) crab and wine

Yes, yes. The post came a day late. But I wanted to have a picture to go with it, so I waited till Elaine sent it to me.

That's the birthday girl, a day short of her 22nd birthday (though she'd be 22 and a day old by now).

*hugs* Love you babe~~

With Compliments

Living a month off a compliment

I think it's true that a person can live a month off a compliment. At least, for me it's true. 21 years of age, how many months would that be? A month off one compliment, so that's many, many compliments *smile*

There are some that made me feel like a million dollars, those which I can still remember clearly.

You're so simple, so real.

You have this child-like naivete in you, that childish sense of wonder that makes you fascinated with life all the time.

You're quirky.

There are many, many things that people have said to me over the years that made me feel good about myself (no, I'm not writing everything here in case you guys roll your eyes and go "there she goes again"), and "You're nice" doesn't quite match up to all these compliments that seemingly came straight from the heart.

Compliments can make a person feel good. Compliments can make a person feel pretty. Compliments can make a person feel loved. And compliments let you know that someone's thinking of you.

Perhaps that's the reason why Christmas and New Year hampers often come with a card attached that says "With Compliments" *grin*

Halloween a Day Too Late

From left: Cheerleader, Goth, Perempuan Melayu Terakhir, Witch, Apprentice witch and Biker Dude

All 21 years of age, I celebrated my first Halloween with some of my favorite people on earth. It's funny how a whole bunch of people can be in their 20's, dress up silly, and ACT silly. Just for that one night *smile*.

By the way, Happy Birthday Matt, I'm sure the dunk into the pool was very refreshing *wink*