No longer a Thai Club virgin

I've never stepped foot in Thai Club until last night.

And let me tell you, I might never go back there again.

Kan I budak baik, tak pergi clubbing.
*I'm a decent girl, I don't go clubbing.

So, anyway.

Thai Club.

I think it's a place built for Ah Bengs with turned up collars and imitation Italian shoes. That are so shiny they're almost reflective.

It's also for foreign white men who want to get their hands on our post surgery women and ladyboys . READ: Cheapskate foreign white men who want someone else to warm up their hotel beds for them.

There was this woman. She had such a bad nose job that I swear I'd rather die than traumatize anyone looking like that.

See, I'm not being subjective by saying she had a bad nose job. Ask Emily and Sharon. They'll say the same thing. No Chinese woman would have a nose that looks exactly like the one MJ has after his numerous reconstructions.

Wait. Screw that.

No human being would have an MJ nose without surgery.

So, yeah, this woman with the nose job, she was all over this white man, and she was pressing herself against him and smiling like a demure Asian woman would.

Now, this white man. I reckon that he's not all that popular with the ladies back home, wherever he came from. He looked like the kind of guy that got beaten up regularly in high school.

Right behind our table, was this couple.

The guy looked a little younger than my dad. Surly. I'm assuming he's about 40.

Seated right beside him, is a ladyboy who had one hand dangerously close to his nether regions.

I'm not sure if her surgery is 100% complete, but she still looked extremely manly to me.

The people seated on our left, they kept trying to hit on the girls in our group. And, no lah, we're not interested in Ah Bengs, ohkay? Besides, I'm sure conversations between us won't last 3 seconds.

Sharon had to share her crown with another girl who occupied the table right in front of ours with her group of very rowdy friends.

This girl, she was extremely friendly with everyone. I don't know how much she had to drink, but she almost kissed me on my mouth when I was only about to shake her hand to wish her a polite birthday greeting.

I would've loved people-watching the entire night, but I had to pretend to be slightly drunk and swaying my non-existent hips to the crappy music they were churning out. The ladyboy caught me stealing glances at her and I was afraid that she might just come over to beat me up.

Since I couldn't turn around anymore, I had to limit my scope to only 180 degrees. That's when I caught the nose job woman staring daggers at me. Apparently, the white man was subtly trying to gain my attention with her hanging on his arm.

Sigh.

Only 90 degrees left now.

Due to dangers that might lead to horrible catfights, my scope of vision for the entire night was limited to watching 2 Ah Bengs and 1 Ah Lian do the Melbourne Shuffle to YMCA.

Yay to Thai Club.

Oh, I'm sure the white man scored that night because I saw the woman with the nose job getting into a taxi with him when we left.