Just call me Saffron, will you?

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Not Here

Today's probably one of those days when I'm being morbidly silly. One of those days when I wonder what the world would be like without my existence. A little like It's a Wonderful Life, but mostly not.

It's difficult to explain why exactly I feel what I feel. All I know is that I just do. It's not like I wanted to kill myself or anything drastic like that, but there are the days when I just wanted to disappear, cease to exist, be anywhere else but here.

Anywhere else but here.

There are the days when I'm so tired of being me, tired of what's going on around me, tired of everything. And I wondered if time could somehow let me slip through it, let me hide in between its parallel universes for just a while, till things get better.

No. It will never happen.

So today I sighed to myself. My heart weary with an unspoken burden, my mind boggled with all things worldly, a heavy sigh escaped my lips.

This is the time when I wish tears would wash away the nausea and pain. This is the time when I wish all my troubles and heartache would be eased with a sigh. This is the time when all I want is to hide away, the time when I wish I was anywhere else but here.


  • ... feel the same way sometimes!

    By Blogger ayako, at 3:45 PM  

  • actually, it's what i'm feeling right now... :(

    By Blogger ayako, at 3:57 PM  

  • don't let the feeling consume you =)

    By Blogger Shavain, at 3:30 AM  

  • thanks, have quoted the last part to a special friend. hope it's okay... been reading your blog, it's cool! ;)

    By Blogger ayako, at 8:36 AM  

  • thanks =)

    By Blogger Shavain, at 5:00 PM  

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